Wednesday, May 28

Just another day - in paradise!

-well somwhere around 14.30 or so it started to go wrong.

I was supposed to met my coming landlady and give her the deposit money, but she had to push it, to next week, she is a very sweet girl so i trust her all will be ok with the contract so no worries. I beliave in the good of people. But looking back i think it was here it all went wrong.

OK. some background info that is needed: When coming over to copenhagen today i brought the Laptop with me i took home last, since someone ( read Mr PB :-) ) needed to empty it from things before i reinstall everything, i also brought along my 3G, incase all the internet wires where taken, meaning if Mr KA would come in.

OK. When leaving i realised already when Mr PB locked the door that i forgot the computer but no big deal, i can coupe for now with the one i have at home. So Keep it and empty it.

In the taxi i go.....On the train i go.....Over the bridge i go.

And there ..boooom... it strikes me, that my 3G is in the laptop bag!! If i dont have that i will not have internet and thats impossible, really, no joke but it is impossible.

Rush of the train at Svågertorp (witch is sweden) and see on the board there is another one leaving for copenhagen in just a few minutes, am quite far away from that train and dont have a ticket but take a chans, am stubborn, you all know that. And as a side note info i can say: it takes 2 hrs single way from Copenhagen and to my home.

I am 3 meters from the doors when they close them and off that train went- without me.

OK. Next one leaves in 30 minutes so i guess i need to take the stairs back up and get a ticket.

OK. Then i realise that one of my heels ( i rarley, seriously very rarley wear shoes with heels but did today bhaaaaaaaaaaaaa) are broken, lol, so i cant walk with one shoe with heel and one wiothout thats just too plain stupid, even for me.

OK. i take them off, and walk barefot. Let people stir i dont give a rats shit about that, the key is to walk like you are a billionare with a private Jet and that you choose to go barefot.. Why? Because you can!

And am yet not irritated, thats amazing.

OK. got my ticket and get back to train.
Also get hold of Mr best PA who says i can drop by him in a taxi and get keys, go and get the thinghy and come back.


After a while he text me saying he went there and got it for me (bless him) so i just can fetch it at his place. Really a time saver.

OK. now am at copenhagen main station- again- and its a bit more people then in svågertorp for sure and not so easy to look down to not step in glas or other things so I rush into a shop there to buy a pair of sandals. They got this extremley ugly ecco or school or WTF they called, never mind, i dont care, i can wear them at home. OMFG.. its like 14 people before me in the que! I dont have petinet for this.
OK. Ignore shoes for now.

Get a taxi, and of to Mr PA to get my thinghy. no traffic so actually there quick and easy, get my thinghy and back to trainstation - again- and also thinking ok NOW i sort the shoes out, because even if i can walk like a queen pretending i got the most expensive shoes in the world on just that its only me who can see them, its fecking hell not very comfortable!

OK. Finally there, and i see a train is leaving to home in 4 min, and there is still que in that shop, and if i miss this train i have to wait an houer. Easy chooise. Insta Ignore shoes. Tess is home and i havent been able to reach Emma who take care of her today because my phone when i open the slide, turns black, and when i take the slide back it works, BUT i can then not reach the buttoms, FFS!! going mental soon

But still not irritated, amazing.

OK. so i say what can i do in 4 min to make this situation a bit better, you know, positive thinking. I pass another shop on my way to the train, pop in there, take a beer, pass the whole long que, throw a 50 note on the desk and -say keep the change. lol, littel funny cos i dont have any shoes and the person behind the desk really looked up and down at me, so well.. people without shoes maýbe dont really tip but hey hoe, i got shoes, its just that people cant see them!

You tired yet? Or are you smiling?
Trust me it gets worse, there are still hrs left before i reach my home. Maybe i should continue tomorrow, because i can feel my "morfin" pain tabletts are kicking in now, - yes - my evening ended on hospital!

I really really really dont know why everything happens to me.

And Mr PB texted me saying, if all this happen to him he explode, i texted back (this was before my phone fucked up) saying- naee this is just another day in anna panna life!

OK. Finally i sit on the train, and now am travelling on the ordinary ticket from this morning, and i always buy buisness class since else one are not guaranteed a seat and its very full in morning of screaming students on their way to school talking in their mobile phones about he said that, i said that and then she said that, bhaaaa. It cost me 40 kr more each way so as far as i am concerned it could cost anything i still would think its well spend money. So am sitting there, in buissness class togheter with Mr tie 1 and 2 and Mrs "nose stucked in the air" and Mr " very young IT brainer", i got no shoes, am all sweaty and i have a can of Carlsberg in my hand, lol. Well i just do what most swedes do coming to or from Denmark, drink beer. So I sit down and say loud and clear- Finally, what a day!

They dont really seem to interested in starting a conversation so ahhh well, lets drink my beer. I now know that it of course would been better with a bottle of water but, well, i wanted a BEER!

OK. And i actually thought about this next incident quite a bit, i mean how many cans you think it was in that store? 200? 400? 600? Next time passing i will take a quick look calculating, i need to know the odds. I get back on that one day - promise.

Anyway, yea yea of course, when opening the can, it fecking explode! BEER all over, not only me, oh nooo, both Mr tie 2 and Mrs "nose stucked in the air" get to share this amazing unforgetable moment with me.
Still am not irritated, but i am actually quite close to tears. And i never wished so strong that i was pisst drunk or had a bag full of drugs! AS much as i hate drug- at this point i would do them!

Mr tie 1 is a older gentleman and i think he sees i had a kind of ruff ending of this day. So he quickley takes the can, throw it away in the bin and reach in his suit and give me a ironed napkin (! who irons napkins, just as stupid as iron underwear IMO). Maybe he is nice doing all this because i have a blue mark on my west that i bought this morning when buying my coffie. They said it was supporting cancer so since i always think its important to give good karma i could not refuse buying, well, two gentlemen on the train this morning, stoped when leaving at their stations saying- thank you for the support. I just said ok, sure np.

I didnt understand what they meant, but when the second person said it and left, i must have looked very confused because a lady, that actually sits in the swedish goveerment, i recoqnised her, and I am not really into politics so little proud (she was on her way to a meeting in copenhagen, she was very nice actually) leans over and says: - its the blue mark.

- Oh yea, i say, i bought it this morning its for cancer. She smiles a very sofisticated smile and says- yes, prostata cancer, you know the kind of cancer men get in their .... and then she moved her eyes up and down. .. ok now i get it, lol. A little funny, but hey hoe i always support a good cause! And this made me talk to her, a very interesting lady!

Ok back to the napkin, sorry i lost focus, its my pain killers.
He give me a napkin and i start to dry my self and the table and the seat, when all this is done I wonder silent, am i supposed to give it back? Are one? i mean, its not a pretty sight this ironed napkin, old makup, beers ect ect...but its a real napkin, with monogram. And even funnier was that HE understood i was thinking this so he whisper- keep it, i got a few more.

Cheers mate! Well i didnt say cheers mate, i just smiled, a SOFISTICATED smile, smeeling beer and without shoes,leaned forward and whispered back- thank you.

do that if you can! HEP HEP!

Am now a proud owner of a napkin with initials MH, so now i cant stop thinking what his name can be! Wacko caco!

OK. I could continue telling you how unbelivable annoying it is that they need to see your ticket 111 times but i wont. And i could tell you about the little Tai man who came lookig for cans in the trash and found the beercan that was not empty and spilled the rest on the floor and starting to curse in tai language, but i wont. Somtimes i curse myself for remembering all this shit and details all the time.

OK. Now am at my home station, and i live only 1 km from station but i seriously cant walk that without shoes, trough town, i mean who knows me in Copenhagen?
- no big deal, but here, noo way, enough that i once forgot i had mickey mouse pyjamas on and sandal shoes, and went to buy pasta 03 a saturday night (after playing poker of course) and in the que full of party people a freind of mine gives me a hug and say: nice trousers honey! lol, i mean didnt even realised i went out in pyjamas and sandals and it was a bit cold too so i had my long winterjacket over so i guess it looked funny.

So i need a taxi.

There are only 2 standing waiting and they get grapped just before me. And i cant phone a taxi due to my phone will not let me type on it without getting black, i seriously need a new phone, its done this before but not this stubborn. And the taxies leave before i can make them awear i need one and let them call one in for me.

Really what is wrong with this day?

So i go into "pressbyrån" its a kiosk thing, and want to ask to borrow a phone. But outside there is a basket, they sell "flip flops", are you with me, you know what am talking of here? THE most awful sandal ever made, i started to hate them when living in africa, since it really was the only thing you could wear in those sandy streets. And besides i never learned to walk proper in them.
But ok, i buy a pair, after all its just 1 km!

And i really really just wanna get home now :-( am not irritated, but iam starting to feel sorry for myself. And dont worry about Tess, Emma texted me saying they just been on a long walk so thats something good.

OK. Here we go. Me and my sparkling blue flipflops, they suit my blue prostata brosch for sure!!! Very SOFISTICATED! One gotta smile.*shaking my head*

I take a short cut trough the library building, and to pass there one need to CONQUER 4 stair steps, and this is sooooooooo close to my home so i can see the balcony door, not more then 50 m or so, just an open litle square and then - safe and home. And yepps.. there i bloody cant do this flipfloppingafrickafuckingsandal shit anymore, i stumble on the stairs, and since also bringing home a very good expensive camera from Copenhagen my thought was to save that one and i fall really bad. I scream "jävla skit f**** h**** k**** and alot more that i will not translate. And now i actually starting to get a litle irritated. I look up and i can even see Tess`s nose since the balcony door are a bit open. THAT is how fecking close i am! She even heared me. Because the nose was not there before the fall. Details MR sherlock- Details (i hate it that i remember so many useless things)

So when falling, i saved the bag with the camera and droped my handbag, and in the handbag was quite a big sum of money for the landlady that i had to bring back and bank didnt have 1000 notes in danish so i have 20 000 danish in 100 notes lol.
The word bloodmoney are now having a new meaning to me, because the money flew out, everywhere and am bleeding, both from my nose and from ... MY one TOE! Well its just to get a grip and collect the money and try to get home and do damage control and rearange the troops- as WE wardedicated heros say! Huhaaa!

I manage. And when opening the door my litle Tess is so so so happy, coming with one of her "pups" in the mouth (you gotta read yesterdays blog to understand that one) and i have to spend a few minutes with her, else she get confused and stressed.

OK. nose is no worries, just ordinary nose blood- i think. Stick some cotton in that one. But the TOE. OMG the whole top of it is.. like.. gone! And its bleeding like crazy, i quickley decide that i cant get this bleeding to stop proper so i need to get to hospital and good knows what bakterias i can have on my FEETS after this day.

And for those of you who it actually has striked: that am making this up and now am about to say: tadaaaa only joking, got ya! Well, sorry but that will not happen.
I wish!

OK. i can still not phone a taxi. Hate my phone very much indeed. TY NOKIA!

I dont really know anyone of my neighbourse exept Emma so i ring her door, she is not home! Well then it has to be spiderman, and i dont call him that due to "hunkiness "or special talents. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... he breeds spiders!

He is very very pleaseant and always plays with Tess when i meet him and he have invited me several times to come and see his spiders, but i cant, i really really hate spiders and we are not talking SMALL spiders. He also breeds couchrouches to FEED them! He is a very serious with this, got alarm on his door and lock on their "boxes" so am ok living in same house i just dont need to see them. I dont think i even would know he breeds spiders unless one day he was out picking leafs and i thought that was odd, but i stoped and helped him, of course. And after 20 min or so i said

- soooo why are we picking these leafes? He then told me. He also have those "walking sticks" animals. And they eat leafes. Apparentley.
OMG useless knowing.

Anyway, i ring his door, and around my fot i got a big towel wraped and cutton sticking out my nose, am bloody on my cloths and smell like a brewery. He opens and i ask to borrow a phone to call a taxi. He asked me what the hell happen? And i start to explain.. lol.. in one sentecne that are like 500 words long and probebly dont make sence- at all. I think am a bit in chock aswell. He stops me saying, - i drive you. He get his keys and put an arm around me and am close to tears, just because someone cares.

I am lucky, for once, at hospital there is no que at the emergency room so i can see a doctor straight. Spiderman waits for me and follow me into the doctor. And you all know the drill. The nurse comes in first and one have to tell her and then the doctor come and you tell again, like a fecking preconsultation and i cant really do that at this point. so i just say to the nurse, - no offense but pls, i cant stand telling this story twice, feel free to be here when doctor is here if you wanna hear it but noooo am not doing it twice. Nope- not!

She gets my frustration and leave to get the doctor.

He comes in, he is from polen and speak brokenenglishswedishpoloski. See this day cant possible be relived again. What if i wake up tomorrow and same shit happens, like in that movie?

He dont understand a shit from my explenation so after a while spiderman tells the doctor- cant we just fix it? Do you really need all this information? ( lol, it was funny) the doctor says, .- no sorry me help ja.

- ty!

Apparentley it looked worse then it was and its nothing he can do but putting some sticky thing, smells like tyre on it to stop bleeding and then clean it. However he do tell me

- maybe you clean fot everyday, good for you. now- very dirty.

OMG he think i have these dirty feets???
I open my mouth to try to explain that i walked 100000 miles without shoes trough a battlefield of obsticles but spiderman hysch me and says in swedish so the good doctor polanski wont understand,

-DO not get him started to listen, he will never understand this and we stuck here forever - just AGREEE!

OK. i ask doctor polanski for some good pain killers since my fot are aching like hell. He calls the nurse back and tell her to fetch "bfjtdfldfa" dont have a clue what he said, but nurse looks a bit suprised and ask him again, and he says yes that one. WTF is he giving me? She comes with them, only 3 tablets and i tell her- well this wont do me trough the night even, am used to strong pain killers. She says- dear these ones are strong morfine i cant give you more then 3.

We limp home. And woow these tablets are good :-) am definatley not irritated now :-) am actually feel pretty cooooooooool!

I decide to take shower. Its a bit tricky, the good polanski doctor put a big bandage on, so it really look faaaaar worse then it is. Cant be that bad really. Its just a toe. I wrap a plastic bag around it and put a chair in the shower :-) after all am old now lads, i seen oldies have chairs in their shower. All this is done with Tess overlooking eye, she is a bit confused but very supportive, she carry 3 of her "pups" with her in to the bathroom and lay there and wait for me to be ready, constantley making sounds :-) min lille TessBusMus that 100% thinks a bottle of sunlotion is a puppy! Gotta love that, pure love!

Well it went ok.
But i replaced the bandage with a smaller bandage read plaster and put some of that thing on he gave me to stop the bleeding. And i dont feel a shit! Seriously this tablets are sooooooooo goooooooooooooooooooood!

Am now in bed with Tess and the "pups", and she is right now washing the fanta "pup" very carefully :-) such a good mummy! And i really just got one thing left to say:

Mr PB you "mentalmaniadonk"- If you empty the laptop during day i would have brought it home and NONE of this would have happen. You understand?

YOU owe me drinks and please notice the S in the word drinks, and NO BEERS!

Good night!

(omg i might have to become a drug addict, this is AWSOME)

C4Q & Tess and all the cultural pups!

ps 1: i might sleep in a bit tomorrow morning, ok?

ps 2: I think its good am single.

I mean if one come home 6 hrs late and explain this even lets say without the toe thingy, its just sounds too stupid. Like i been cheating in a hotel bar somewhere. So i stay single. There isnt a man born that are crazy enough anyway, So if i want someone to write letters on my back so i fall a sleep, i call an escort company and pay for it. Am soon moving to Denmark. Its legal there. Am serious - give me a number to call- and NOT a sex thing, just a company thing.
I think am high now :-) lol, i will erase this tomorrow!

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