Arghhhh... yea i know should have written so many blogs, its not like nothing happens, no no am just lazy!
Anyway, its 06 here in Malta MickeyMouse country and i misstakingley fall asleep on around 23 on my way out to kitchen to open a bottle of wine, true. I had no intention at all to fall a sleep and had a friend on skype just opening a bottle of wine in his end so i had all intention to join him and his crazy laptop that create own words in a speed of lightining - love it, ahhh well, i dont know what happen, but i woke up around 03 in sofa with Tess on my chest. Other day i woke up in the guestroom, and i dont know why either, am getting old, maybe its alzheimers :(
So now its 06 and i done 2 machines of laundry, yes this houer: pure punishment for the neighbours down stairs arguee so so so much, stop that shit, i mean life too short too arguee and founding someone to blame, just face the shit, it happen, now we look forward, how hard can it be?
Done laundry, been out with Tess, cleaned my home, meaning sweping floors with a brush yes they dont use vacumcleaner in this mickeymouse country, and only one thinking its great is Tess as sweepeing the floors with a brush is in her opinion incredible fun arghhhhh!!!
The result of the cleaning are tilting me!
Also cooked a big lasagana, from scratch no half products :) in casa de "laa mariane catrine Loley"
-why is my name so hard? other day at casino they wrote on the screen : Lana Polley lol
the Lasagana i mostley cooked to proof to my friend am not going to kill myself, yea i was scared cooking Lasagana and eat it on my own will make me comit suicide.
So he said: Anna listen, dont cook. (he is so funny)
Well, other day i chatt with another friend, yea i know for the time beeing my life seems to be very computerized, but its this bloody foot jail, and its getting better so soon you have anna panna crazy IRL life back, Be petient. Anyway on my heading i had a text saying in english something that if your big dreams dont come trough so what or what you going to do about it. Its a strophe from a song a like.
He asked me what my dreams are.
And in all fairness, REALLY in all FAIRNESS one dont ask someone that 07 in the morning knowing the person is not sober.
But as the very straight forward girl with a unforgetable personalithy, i of course answered him very honest, and most times when people ask these kind of questions they just want the default random answer and he hasnet known me so long, so after i was done, he said: hmm ok, well that was honest. :) bless him. I hope i didnt make him too worried !
What did i answer, yea well its simple actually, i dont fight for world peace or starving countries as its seems like mission impossible, and i besides i think the copyright for that strophe is with Miss Universum. I do my charity of course and i have my sponsored kids in differnt countries, but my answer was simple,me think:
if i can have a partner, man or what you call it :) dont want a gay there is my border,not due to lack of sex, but i just cant stand this feminin thing 24 hrs a day. But i want someone that i can cook for, spoil a bit, give massage (am very good at that and miss it, and am talking real massage not "thai all included " :)even though i think am good at that too, not sure, ages ago FFS!) someone i can discuss with, someone who has passion for something in life, own hobbies interest so one dont have to cling all over eachother ALL the time, i mean i got my poker. Someone who can stand seeing me pale and black under eyes now and then not sleeping for odd 40 hrs or so when i go into my work zone :) someone who accept that sometimes one sleep days not nights :) and thats totaly ok. someone who accepts that yes one can make love tuesday afternoon at 14 on the balcony, and well someone who just wanna hold me little now and then when am cuddly, then i dont care if am rich or poor, but i need to be the woman, am so tired of being a man. reeeeeeally tired of being the man in the house. And ohh.... gotta be a fotball fan or else its doomed! Dont HAVE to be a LFC fan but well would make things nicer in the home.
I really miss the sound, yes the sound of someone in my home, i dont care what sound he makes i can even accept snoring and one of my former boyfreinds would laugh now, and say thats a huge improvment, but just the sound of someone around, i dont care what sounds or even if he sits and play poker 23 hrs a day, its ok, but he has to make sounds now and then :)AND throw dirty cloths little here and there. LIVE!
Honestley i really dont care of prestige or so, money or big fancy house, all i want is some sort of family "ish", i dont care if its my kids or borrowd kids adopted kids if they are black white green or yellow, or even if there are any kids AT ALL, but everyone shud really have someone to share both laughter and worries with. NOW i share them with my pc, lol and my online mates arghhhhh, phatetic.
And ohh. yea he needs to make me laugh else goooo away!
Can you imagine this, ok, i tell my partner goodnight at 10 in morning and go to sleep lol, or that i say no dont wanna go out tonight, yes i know its saturday, so what? no i cant see your mum and dad today its sundaytourneys ffs! and no i cant do this now, i need to finnish this tourney, lol just face it, these men dont exsist. Everything is pokers fault, i was normal before i sliped into this world :) i worked for the swedish goverment and took bus to office 06 every day and back home 16:00, did big shopping once a week, fall a sleep on sofa to a movie friday evening and had neighbours and friends over saturday and sunday it was dinner with family.
BUT on the other hand, isnt it better to live a little bit more relaxed, yea wehuuuu we got little tipsy a tuesday mornign and made crazy love on the balcony in pouring rain :) is that not better then go to bed and make the weekley sex with light off at 22 and maybe go to bed 00 in weekends. (puke).. cant live like that, if i want to eat breakfast at 23 and dinner at 08 i do that.
Byt yea.. it gets lonly too, thats the price you pay for the freedom. But cant it be combined, is that really so so darn impossible?
I can compromise :) but not about the kitchen, the kitchen is MINE, i dont want anyone challenge me there and cook, it stress me. Leave my kitchen alone!
Then of course he cant just be anyone, he has to wear a pair of jeans good ( girls you know what i mean) have sexy hands, speak a certain language (why in this earth do i have a thing for that language, i dont know where it comes from?? and yes its restricting me!! ) he also need to tell me to shut up now and then, and he needs to write number ridles on my back before i sleep, he has to be clever, daft people really turns me off - immidiatley, he also has to be able to make me smile, and make me feel like the only woman on earth and be ok with Tess, he also have to enjoy ocean as i do, else its hard, but far from that naeeee far from that am not fuzzy. ~at all! You think am demanding too much? :( maybe!
We all know he dont exsist :) but one cant ask me my dreams and expect a logic answer, am not very default random standarnized ~ thank god!
Now sun is up here in Malta and am going for a nice morning walk, yesterday morning i took this picture. Love the marina and boats.
Have a great weekend all!
NB: i never lived alone really, not until last 2 years so maybe am just not used to it and should stop whining ~ iknow, or play more poker could also be an option! Can anyone record me some hubbie sounds? i can put that cd on when i feel lonly :)